Landing

I am landing far away here, the dreams, no the worst nightmare are here, besides I am here fighting against an enemy that  i can not defeat, the glory of the past is an illusion, I pray to the gods to for favor in the future in this journey, I know that I have to risk everything, all in this bet.  

Come back home is just a phrase, because nothing in this world is certain as death, the future belongs to the past, the action that marked our past, made the present and rulede the future. Every action made my future. We all play a part on history's great  stage, the little man can become great and the righteous man can be a villan. In this world filled with fears, crimes are made and prices are paid, the betrayal and the forgiveness are just word  without meaning if we did not know the past the circustances but it hurt, like the thorn of a rose, or the memory of a fallen love.

I had heard that "Nobody can decide what happens to you, nobody but you" I could be true but there are variables, that we can not control, the weather, the human mind, because of that we need to question everything just to learn a few thing and find more questions, But when the answers are find are easy to understand when we are the ones  who discover it. If we are not we are only walking in the trace of somebody  else "giants". We need to understand why, when and who made it true.

I am all alone. I always have been. I always will be. Because in my mind I am the only one who walk there, the past marks my path and the future is uncertain, but what is not. One smile, one tear,just the time is forever.

Honor, principles or love are worthy to die for, or  i am wrong?

The rose have shown their thorn and the price should be paid maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but someday.

A-->Z

I have always known the price of the life, one smile or one tear is the same, maybe I  am just a bastard, with a cursed mind, a grind mind, one mind who want to control almost every variable, knowing that that is imposible, One live, one endless game or maybe finite as the change of a clock, one smile, the one how can kill a spirt, I do not seek for forgiveness I am not worthy, Whenever I see you even in my dream my world fall down, you smile the fact that I lose you forever, I cry to the moon asking for the ending of this mayhem. I smile knowing the gods will not have mercy with me.  

Because I start a fight that I can not win, my arrogance will define me, the fact I am not going to surrender, and I will remeamber the night that I fell. Is present in my mind like it was yesterday, I want to forget but that is my stigma, that was my desicion, I choose my fate , now and ever, there are consequences, you need to decide if they are worthy to face them or you are in retreat.

Maybe tomorrow I will die, maybe I will live forever, maybe just for an instant, I can said I was happy, I was in love and I betrayed her. In my dreams I can see her,I can tell her how I feel, In my dreams I want to die, but I deserve the greatest punishment, in the tartarus, but I will continue living knowing that she is happy without me. And that maybe  make me happy for a moment because she was the queen of my world. And I should pay the price for my sins.


I still feel the pain.

I am the master of my destiny, the one who will fight every night and fell at dawn. The one who walk among  the living ones, until the night devour his mind.

Take my pain away with a shot, the pain is inside me, the future is uncertain the wolf is crying to the moon knowing how far is it, 23 night since the start of the nightmare, it can not rain forever is what the song said, the other said I can walk on stormy seas, but nothing is forever, except the legends, except the immortality.


The night hide the worst demons, and few can walk among the light, among the sun, the light is fading in the north, I can stand a mountain my eyes are losing the light, the time is running, as the world keeps turning, what is hope if your future is uncertain, what is hope if you do not have answers, what is hope without pain. go bad,

Is nothing except a word.

The sun is in the horizon one month  or two maybe three, I do not know. one more book.

"Once things go bad, they tend to stand bad"


No way forward or back, in stalemate, we stagnate,
life cycle is an automation, instinctively, we race to get ahead?
And now our virgin minds are raped.

Another insignificance to join the rat race.
Self indulgence within our grasp.

We're taught but torn.

The sanctity of life, so vulnerable,
the world keeps turning - we spin out of control.
Guided, or could this mean misguided, no time for questions,
preoccupied with pressing on, the world keeps turning -
we overdose on overdrive.
Superior species with inferior ideas.

We overload our bodies and minds,
respect this world while committing suicide.
Poison trait.

We're the cause not the cure,
our methods will surly drag us down.
Guided, or could this mean misguided,
our virgin minds are raped -
the world keeps turning -
we overdose on overdrive,
we spin out of control.

In stalemate, we stagnate!

The world keeps turning - Napalm Death

The blind

The blind man took his sword in the silence of the night waiting for his fate, the death was near. A pale women with black long hair as her eyes. When she ask him:

- Are you happy with your live? he answered
-If she is happy, I'm happy in this moment.
-Then you are not happy, Do you have regrets?
-A few but are worthless, the action has been made. I can not turn the time back, the world keeps turning.
-If I kill you could be happy?
-I opened the gates of my own hell a long time ago.
-In other words you are dead. No I am living in the hell I made among the living ones.
-None can made a hell.
-How can you be sure?
-Because to be in hell you must pass the styx.
-The river of the ancient gods.
-The only way to enter to  hades.
-Yes I came here for you.
-Then is an honor for me, may I ask you name of my guest?
-The name are useless but if you want to call me in a sort of name you can call me Macaria.
-The daughter of Hades.
-You know  Greek mythology.
-A little, my name is Greek  but as you said in this moment is useless.
-You know your fate.
-I hope is the tartarus.
-Why did you want to be in the tartarus the deep part of the hades? -
Is the place I belong my sins are great, I had betrayed my friends and the woman I love.
-You are still in love with her?
-Until my soul would be destroyed.  
-Who are you? What are your sins? Why are not you afraid? Why are not you smiling? Why are you looking at me if you're blind? Why I want to understand you?
-Just take me to the hell, I beg you this pain is to huge. The moon is talking to me and the dreams drive me to madness, fear in nothing in comparison to the feeling of emptyness. To the feeling of endless sadness I have in my heart.  -And death took his arm, saying
-Your place is not among the living, but not with the dead.

The moon and the Wolf

Once upon a time when the ancient gods rule this world when the moon shines in the eternity, there was two races who venerate the moon, one was the human kind the other one was the wolves. One day the moon decide to walk among the mortal world and she gets involved with one human, one simple human, he was a writer, a dreamer, a poet, within days he fell in love with the moon, but he start to have dreams about a wolf, a lone wolf who sings to the moon, and he know is impossible to reach her.

Years passed and he realized his true and his fate, he was still in love with the moon, but she was more and more away, she live in other world a world far apart from him, she was a princes and he was a wolf  realized it was a lone wolf, apart from everything he have lieft his friends and family just for her and still she was near him but her soul was miles away from him. He was dying frome inside until he finds a little lamb who confort him with sweet sounds and expressions.

He betrayed the moon and seal his fate he accept he can not make happy a goddess even if she is with him he was just a wolf, a lone wolf, one who walks alone, but he lost everything that was the price, he try to find peace in the words and the alcohol, but nothing works, he was still in love with the moon, he will always be in love with the moon, he hurt the lamb,and destroy jus own soul making a pact with his own demons. 

But as always will be a wolf howling at the moon

6 years after, the story is the same, he is still in love with the moon

--To the moon  (RCMH)

S P

Nothing to lose, nothing to win, there is only sand in the wind, the blows the mind like a star in the infinity that start their oblivion, the wind talks and curses the human kind, are part of myself, I follow the sun path and I am tring to find the end, this is not the end of me, I will find a new path if is necessary

Missing the wind and waiting to end my pain, there is no glory, there is no hope, just loneliness of a broken heart and a cursed mind, who tries to find the power to destroy that body, that soul. there is price, i you are ready to paid for it.

The hell awaits, with all my brother there, waiting for this damn soul who walks in the earth trying to find a path between the madness and the sanity. One word could kill me, but now I am deaf, I lost my reason, my hope.

God grant me the SERENITY to accept what I cannot change, the TENACITY, to changes what I may, and the GOOD LUCK not fuck up to often.

Thesis

Life is whatever you want,sometimes sad, sometimes good, but is what you make with it, nothing else,while i was reading about who to make a thesis, you need to find what you want, something that you enjoy, the celestial motion or the spanish literature, everyone has their joys, someone can refer the chaos of the no linear system of four bodies, or the aproximation of function with wavelets in L_2, you only need to decide. Is the same for me, I choose what I thing is the best and I assume consequences of my acts, Is my way.is my path, I will floow the sun in the day an in the night  I will find comfort in the moon I love, an the star that mark my path, I will find the answers even if I die in the process. Nothing is easy if you want or need something you need to fight for it, 

One song to remember one song in one day, just one song, with a guitar solo, one song that hurts just one song, one song that kills slowly or make me stronger, I remember a smile and a lie, the words has been spoken and the actions have been taken, I keep walking, until the night surrounds me and my legs hurt, the muic is my partner, even if my life sucks, I can choose my soundtrack.

One song just one song in the day because this day is different, maybe I am right maybe not, I am not a God to know that answer and I never wanted, Maybe a demon but not a God, I will never want to be a God especially if is the Jew, Christian or Muslim.

Time will leave
And I will follow
You dug my hole while you said you love me
What will we say
What will we be then
When we arrive where we never wanted

I feel dead when I am close to you
And hide from you again
Feel dead
So you can't reach my heart again

Now you're not here to see me crumble
You spit on me and I try not to tumble
Take me away
And bleed me tomorrow
I say goodbye to you and to my sorrow

I feel dead when I am close to you
And hide from you again
Feel dead
So you can't reach my heart again 


"While" . Lacrimas Profundere