Take my pain away with a shot, the pain is inside me, the future is uncertain the wolf is crying to the moon knowing how far is it, 23 night since the start of the nightmare, it can not rain forever is what the song said, the other said I can walk on stormy seas, but nothing is forever, except the legends, except the immortality.


The night hide the worst demons, and few can walk among the light, among the sun, the light is fading in the north, I can stand a mountain my eyes are losing the light, the time is running, as the world keeps turning, what is hope if your future is uncertain, what is hope if you do not have answers, what is hope without pain. go bad,

Is nothing except a word.

The sun is in the horizon one month  or two maybe three, I do not know. one more book.

"Once things go bad, they tend to stand bad"


No way forward or back, in stalemate, we stagnate,
life cycle is an automation, instinctively, we race to get ahead?
And now our virgin minds are raped.

Another insignificance to join the rat race.
Self indulgence within our grasp.

We're taught but torn.

The sanctity of life, so vulnerable,
the world keeps turning - we spin out of control.
Guided, or could this mean misguided, no time for questions,
preoccupied with pressing on, the world keeps turning -
we overdose on overdrive.
Superior species with inferior ideas.

We overload our bodies and minds,
respect this world while committing suicide.
Poison trait.

We're the cause not the cure,
our methods will surly drag us down.
Guided, or could this mean misguided,
our virgin minds are raped -
the world keeps turning -
we overdose on overdrive,
we spin out of control.

In stalemate, we stagnate!

The world keeps turning - Napalm Death

The blind

The blind man took his sword in the silence of the night waiting for his fate, the death was near. A pale women with black long hair as her eyes. When she ask him:

- Are you happy with your live? he answered
-If she is happy, I'm happy in this moment.
-Then you are not happy, Do you have regrets?
-A few but are worthless, the action has been made. I can not turn the time back, the world keeps turning.
-If I kill you could be happy?
-I opened the gates of my own hell a long time ago.
-In other words you are dead. No I am living in the hell I made among the living ones.
-None can made a hell.
-How can you be sure?
-Because to be in hell you must pass the styx.
-The river of the ancient gods.
-The only way to enter to  hades.
-Yes I came here for you.
-Then is an honor for me, may I ask you name of my guest?
-The name are useless but if you want to call me in a sort of name you can call me Macaria.
-The daughter of Hades.
-You know  Greek mythology.
-A little, my name is Greek  but as you said in this moment is useless.
-You know your fate.
-I hope is the tartarus.
-Why did you want to be in the tartarus the deep part of the hades? -
Is the place I belong my sins are great, I had betrayed my friends and the woman I love.
-You are still in love with her?
-Until my soul would be destroyed.  
-Who are you? What are your sins? Why are not you afraid? Why are not you smiling? Why are you looking at me if you're blind? Why I want to understand you?
-Just take me to the hell, I beg you this pain is to huge. The moon is talking to me and the dreams drive me to madness, fear in nothing in comparison to the feeling of emptyness. To the feeling of endless sadness I have in my heart.  -And death took his arm, saying
-Your place is not among the living, but not with the dead.

The moon and the Wolf

Once upon a time when the ancient gods rule this world when the moon shines in the eternity, there was two races who venerate the moon, one was the human kind the other one was the wolves. One day the moon decide to walk among the mortal world and she gets involved with one human, one simple human, he was a writer, a dreamer, a poet, within days he fell in love with the moon, but he start to have dreams about a wolf, a lone wolf who sings to the moon, and he know is impossible to reach her.

Years passed and he realized his true and his fate, he was still in love with the moon, but she was more and more away, she live in other world a world far apart from him, she was a princes and he was a wolf  realized it was a lone wolf, apart from everything he have lieft his friends and family just for her and still she was near him but her soul was miles away from him. He was dying frome inside until he finds a little lamb who confort him with sweet sounds and expressions.

He betrayed the moon and seal his fate he accept he can not make happy a goddess even if she is with him he was just a wolf, a lone wolf, one who walks alone, but he lost everything that was the price, he try to find peace in the words and the alcohol, but nothing works, he was still in love with the moon, he will always be in love with the moon, he hurt the lamb,and destroy jus own soul making a pact with his own demons. 

But as always will be a wolf howling at the moon

6 years after, the story is the same, he is still in love with the moon

--To the moon  (RCMH)

S P

Nothing to lose, nothing to win, there is only sand in the wind, the blows the mind like a star in the infinity that start their oblivion, the wind talks and curses the human kind, are part of myself, I follow the sun path and I am tring to find the end, this is not the end of me, I will find a new path if is necessary

Missing the wind and waiting to end my pain, there is no glory, there is no hope, just loneliness of a broken heart and a cursed mind, who tries to find the power to destroy that body, that soul. there is price, i you are ready to paid for it.

The hell awaits, with all my brother there, waiting for this damn soul who walks in the earth trying to find a path between the madness and the sanity. One word could kill me, but now I am deaf, I lost my reason, my hope.

God grant me the SERENITY to accept what I cannot change, the TENACITY, to changes what I may, and the GOOD LUCK not fuck up to often.

Thesis

Life is whatever you want,sometimes sad, sometimes good, but is what you make with it, nothing else,while i was reading about who to make a thesis, you need to find what you want, something that you enjoy, the celestial motion or the spanish literature, everyone has their joys, someone can refer the chaos of the no linear system of four bodies, or the aproximation of function with wavelets in L_2, you only need to decide. Is the same for me, I choose what I thing is the best and I assume consequences of my acts, Is my way.is my path, I will floow the sun in the day an in the night  I will find comfort in the moon I love, an the star that mark my path, I will find the answers even if I die in the process. Nothing is easy if you want or need something you need to fight for it, 

One song to remember one song in one day, just one song, with a guitar solo, one song that hurts just one song, one song that kills slowly or make me stronger, I remember a smile and a lie, the words has been spoken and the actions have been taken, I keep walking, until the night surrounds me and my legs hurt, the muic is my partner, even if my life sucks, I can choose my soundtrack.

One song just one song in the day because this day is different, maybe I am right maybe not, I am not a God to know that answer and I never wanted, Maybe a demon but not a God, I will never want to be a God especially if is the Jew, Christian or Muslim.

Time will leave
And I will follow
You dug my hole while you said you love me
What will we say
What will we be then
When we arrive where we never wanted

I feel dead when I am close to you
And hide from you again
Feel dead
So you can't reach my heart again

Now you're not here to see me crumble
You spit on me and I try not to tumble
Take me away
And bleed me tomorrow
I say goodbye to you and to my sorrow

I feel dead when I am close to you
And hide from you again
Feel dead
So you can't reach my heart again 


"While" . Lacrimas Profundere

A A

Playing with fire, watching the probabilities of success, just the blue fire of a lighter, my eyes are tired,my mouth is dry and my seek for vengeance blind me, the days are so long,the music is so deep, a warcry from Sverige grows, the usic is my soul, maybe this movie i the worst, but I decide my soundtrack, I felt betrayed and disappointed but I did not do anything, the pain was there, myy hate grown with time and my thirst was great, the human kind was there I fell in her arms, like a drug was her lips, her tiny body full of honey, I wish to be free, I wish to stay more than one week, but she have to return to their homeland, wished to go with her, but sand was on my body, the moon was crying her damn name. Why I still love her?, WHY?.

For one night I was free, for three days I flight with her wings, the moon was there, the shades to, her pale skin and blue eyes, deep like the summer ski, full of hope, here in this country where the hell have a name,  so clever, so shy, lisenting "Paradise Lost", taking about the history of the three kingdoms, Battle of the Weser River, and La noche triste, was amazing, she could save me or could kill me but now an ocean is between us. Her evocative curves moving at the rythm of Iced earth, her smile was like be in heaven, watch her sleep with her blond hair in my lap, knowing that she was free to go, but she stays all night long.

It was a night to remember, one night in my past. God bless England.

PiB

The night is so deep so short, the light disappear in the horizon an there is no more lies, no more fake words, I am alone as always, the music sound in my room, old songs that remind me who I am, one beer is my companion, the light fades as my sanity, every song is a sin, every sin is beautiful, the madness stays and the anthem start, as a battle hymn, the angles dance and the demons kills, a whisper for a distant world, dance of fate o just a joke of the gods, who use us as a chess. Just life, just pain, just my solitude, but that is life all and nothing. you can always win or lose.

Find a meaning, to find more questions, try to understand to find what is, everyday trying to find something new, the emotion to find, what is life without the question. For me is nothing. just emptiness. I will find the answer to find mor questions, to evolve or die in the process, I am not afraid the world sucks and is so beautiful like the winter sky and the autumn moon, One professor said me, the freedom leads to madness and looseness to the suicide.

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens every day

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and must have it painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you

If I look hard enough into the settin' sun
My love will laugh with me before the mornin' comes

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls go by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

Hmm, hmm, hmm,...

I wanna see it tainted, tainted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it tainted, tainted, tainted, tainted black
Yeah!

Hmm, hmm, hmm,...

"Paint it Black" - Rolling Stones