Irais

Whenever my world is darker, you always show up it so long as I'm about to wake up fully appear, always save me, do not know why, but there are always, your words, they have avoided many things. Even knowing that the darkness around me you've always been there, I never promised you anything you can not comply, your words are water in the desert where I live, words that wash the blood from my hands, even that is not worthy thereof. You make me saved more times than I can pay you in this life and many more of I may have.


I've had more enemies than friends, friends who now are but memories but you've passed the time, others stabbed in the back, but that's what I thought was better, everyone follows his principles, but as I have always thought everything has a price, everything has a beginning and an end, because nothing is forever, I always told you not to have come to suffer if not enjoy, do not know if it's true but I wish that were true only for her smile always, to be happy, I never cared much about my fate, but she deserves to be happy because she is noble, a person of the few that I can respect and admire for her integrity.

Thanks for everything

Sun

The sun shines through the curtains of trees only let through some of its sparkle, the floresque caracteristican spring, a couple of bolletas Joe Daniel's lying on the ground next few articles that talk about antennas, a book on the table, the music continues playing to the rhythm of Doom November and Swallow the Sun, just thinking on my way and not turn back, but that's difficult, nothing is easy in the world except suicide.

Don’t fall asleep
To the breathing of the walls
Don’t fall asleep
In this room of loss
Don’t fall asleep
In the arms of dead air
Don’t fall asleep
In this symphony of the damned

"Don't Fall Sleep" - Swallow the Sun

But I do not like easy exits, I never wanted and now you shall begin nosera day, I mbriagare you with the knowledge and books that make me disappear from this world to return to it, write about science and seeketh reason. It ceases to be me, because at the end I'm alone, I am a traveler in a hotel, I'm just a dreamer who tried to turn them into reality, but eseran seeketh my dreams and create the other, my heart is covered with ice, not I seek forgiveness for that is for the saints, I can not forgive and No I have that do not being a god, not for me to forgive, or someone to be forgiven. I am not a king or been blessed by the gods as kings or sorcerers. I'm just someone who seeks knowledge for the fact that science and truth that is true.

Sweet fall, come and take me away from this pain
Towards the dark womb of winter
Beautiful fall, kill the light of summer
And bless us with your shades

"To Cold For Tears" - Swallow the Sun

Shade

Washing my hands with blood, Getting my pain, letting the alcohol flow through my veins, swallowing my hate and sadness, only the clouds of my city, nothing amuses me, nothing pleases me, I feel hungry I feel nothing more than pain, my mind is in chaos, and beer is not enough, the music does not fit into my system, and the only time passes slowly, the books do not make sense, the news seems ephemeral, so distant and unreal, are only framed plalbras by a fund and advertising.

The shadows, drawing under the influence of alcohol, time will only be as slow as time low honey jar, or as fast as the whiskey running down my throat, the perspective changes everything. I hope maybe that's what I tell myself, time and the days go by, people atravesan on my way to some good some not, but in the end I feel lonely, alfinal just me, the ending leaning the wall of my house drinking and thinking, plunging me in my mind, characters are drawn in my mind most stories I've read, thought of as hubuera been living in them. But it is so alive here in this time and now, perhaps away from me this time but my time, shall see people die, live, betray, promise, but it matters that humans are what they are, there is no exception.

I often recall and I have wanted to kill, but not worth it, is it will not be satisfactory to me, but me you want more human, even knowing the outcome. blood calls for revenge, but my will power not to let her go or so is what I expect.

I am going to make true my own Veritas.

Solitude

Another year, a few more days that matters, time is fickle and life goes on. Time teaches you and takes away all succumb to its power, there is no god or demon who knows about it, time will make their own, nothing, just nothing to stay, or will be an endless cycle, how many thousands of million, how many billions of humans have succumbed to the time compared to eternity, every day is a new battle we must fight, every day there is the possibility of dying, I've lived long enough and may live longer but only time will sabra, 26 thousand years or more simply I know I will not be a happy end, but what interests me live as long as I can wish, a smile or a curse, a sarcasm, the coldness of the ice, everything has a price, nothing is always an advantage or everything is always a defect.

But I have to live what is necessary, I may sum in the dark as I must have been in or out of it, may still looking for a place to belong, a place in which to feel at home, but now I'm in the place which I used to call home, today I feel as a foreigner, I will continue looking, I have to keep fighting, by the way I have chosen is the one I create myself to be among the mountains or speed, whatever the path have to take I will do my best to do.

I long for my time to come
death means just life

"Soltitude" - Candlemass

DRM To NGTMR

Two nights without sleep, something that some time would have been a beautiful dream is now one of my worst nightmares, I will fight if matter how long I will not stop because there is no place to which to return, now I only see numbers and models, books are a shelter for my thoughts of destruction, not to do today, today that dream only annihilate me, but still is not give in and return me to raise my sword, I will not be that damn leaves to fight regardless of the enemy, that clemency can only give the gods and I am only unsuited in this society, but perhaps I do not care if he was born about 200 or 300 years would be nice, but it was not, live in this era where treason is the daily bread and honor rlatado only in books written many years ago, I curse the day that I wanted to be human, that only brought me pain and sufrmiento, I died so I vecs forget what really went, giving way to what I am today.

Every night I die with that damn dream, because my brain still misses you, even if it is better without me, because my mind still loves you because I could not forget or in the slightest, because I am only a poor bastard who can not win, I curse and curse back at night, but the path I chose, is the way that I will continue, every morning when the alarm sounds, turn on the coffee, while taking a bath, go out and see the books that are next to my bed, novels and control, get dressed and took a couple of them breakfast a cup of coffee and a beer, so I could plunge into that world where pain is minimal and that science covers my wounds with equations and theorems, look for a model that solves my job more books document until nightfall, and I want to rest, I hope to Domir quietly, but not that damn dream, that curse which is perched on my shoulders. I curse, because there is more to do.

Deprived of my treasure, my "aye" to life;
My peace of mind after sunset's occurrence
Away I walk to ye doleful masquerade;
My ravening and my words becometh aghast

The sun rises high, my feelings they die
Daylight misery... (leave me be)

Another day will go astray...
Another tear in this life so grey
If you ever saw me smile
You should know I felt sick inside

"Daylight Misery" - Draconian

Time

Time is only unstoppable, unstoppable time, people have the as if it were not important, the people live enslaved to it, but few who understand and none that I know has mastered, have always said that the time heals wounds, sometimes it seems that acrecenta, ghosts that seem to eat away the living, that feeling that only shows how weak is man that fears before ss, to his past, which is there in between the vaults of the great churches built based on the labor of slaves and natives alike, beautiful stunning, as if defy time, as if this did not affect, how many lives are lost to those monstrosas pardes, how great must be the vanity of hobres to worship is a god or gods do not even know they exist. But these buildings but to exalt men and their desire to achieve forgiveness or sometimes show the world what they are magnanimous. Temple to house the servants of God or gods that governed everything and show where you should worship the same no matter what religion they say in all there will always be a site for realizr worship, churches, cathedrals, temples, mosques, synagogues all with unique beauty, many of them covered with blood and full of tears.

Currently they are developing the art for the people where not long ago were allowed only to the clergy, see indomitable rock walls, fountains and large internal courtyards, art today is grown there, the crowd of ladies seguen high society enjoy strutting, with support for such institutions as was hce thousand years and will continue to be patrons, benefactors, its name has changed but its function is to mimsa be somewhere in that society, think about them. Characters trying to make people Leean, one that perjured men, enslaved the women, that mistreat and trashed, they are merely victims, I think the world has changed since she has come to the same I do not deny that women have been battered by some men, but also by women themselves, but I think they are beautiful, strong and indomitable as the time, which can not be contained.

Spring

Time seems to move and alcohol runs through my veins and ideas flow right through my fingers, the wind hits the disk, the clouds do not appear in the sky, there is only loneliness, but the sun that blinds men, there is at its best showing as spring progresses, forgetting the winter, I miss the wind in my anciente home speaking to me, like whispers in my fucking time I there alone, my fucking hope. Today I die in the arms of this fever choking me, fills me with so many thoughts, it does seem that the time is composed of just meaningless words.


But nothing else matters I shall not die without a fight I will not lose what little I've won, now no more sounds in my head it's in German song that had long forgotten, one that gives a little faith in this shattered heart this heart broken by the words, like thorns, are stuck in the depths of my being slowly bleeding I have left, that's called humanity, smiled falsely, falsely believe in salvation and renounce the pursuit of forgiveness. I just wish my vengeance that they cut me, but my hearts is proud and my soul no more answers.

Alcohol will be my best sleeping pill, now volvere to want not to dream about you, for my soul is broken and my wings have been removed for your actions, just howl for the moon now seems dead, wishing not to fulfill my revenge, for it invoking the gods that has given me their back.

Mit blutverschmierten Handen
Mit einer Träne im Gesicht
Einem Lächeln auf den Lippen
Und der Hoffnung tief im Blick
Aufzustehen auch aus dem Dreck
Tief beschmutzt und stolz im Herz
Dem Leben neu erwacht
Und erwacht ganz neu im Leben

"Stolzes Herz" - Lacrimosa